I'm Sorry, I've Always Loved You
by lindahfujoshi
Summary: AU. Gilbert and Roderich has been friends for years, they grew up together. After a night of passion, Roderich suddenly fled overseas. Can Gilbert cope with the lost and move on? A PruAus fic with a side dish of PruCan.
1. Chapter 1

My second fic~! OMG!

I hope its interesting enough. i dont have the most creative or awesome brain around.

but nevertheless...

Please enjoy~ :D

**disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

Summary: AU. Gilbert and Roderich has been friends for years, they grew up together. After a night of passion, Roderich suddenly fled overseas. Can Gilbert cope with the lost and move on? A PruAus fic with a side dish of PruCan.

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><p>"Nghh, Gilbert~" Roderich moaned as he buried a hard shaft deep inside of himself.<p>

Gilbert, the owner of the name and the penis is currently beneath Roderich, has taken a more relaxed position. He was flat on his back, his hands on each sides of the other's waist mainly to steady the pace, eyes closed and mouth agape.

Whereas the one doing all the work is riding the other with much vigour to bring both of them to a stage of pure bliss. Roderich has his eyes closed, teeth clenched, eyebrows drawn together in a slight frown, both his hands are on Gilbert's thigh as he is on a reversed 'Cowgirl position'.

Roderich kept his pace, going up and down as fast as he can because 1: he is tired so the faster they end the sooner he can rest and 2: he is going to come.

"Oh Gott, Roddy. You are so fucking tight." Gilbert said through clenched teeth. He didn't think he can last any longer especially with the way Roderich rode him like his dick is the best ride in the whole fucking world, the lustful gasp and moans that came out from his gorgeous lips and also not forgetting how Roderich seems to clench himself around Gilbert very so often.

Everything was driving Gilbert wild!

"Ahh…so….good!"

After a few more thrust, Roderich came, clenching on Gilbert so hard that he too came into the condom that Roderich put on for him while Roderich shot his seeds everywhere on the floor, the bed and also a little on Gilbert's legs.

Both of them didn't even move, Roderich didn't mount off Gilbert nor did he take Gilbert out of himself, he just stayed in the same position while basking in the afterglow of sex.

Once Roderich has come down from his high, he slowly stood up, wincing a little at the soreness of his butt. He turned to see the peaceful, handsome face of Gilbert, snoring away.

Feeling responsible, he removed the condom off of Gilbert and threw it away.

"Hmm, Roddy? What are you doing?" Seeing as the move woke Gilbert up, Roderich just gave him a soft smile. "Nothing, just go back to sleep. I'll clean you off." And with that, he went in to the bathroom to get a clean towel, he wetted the towel and went back to Gilbert.

Roderich refrain himself from sitting on the bed, scared that he might get too comfortable and fall asleep next to Gilbert. So by standing at the end of the bed, he started cleaning Gilbert's bare body, starting from the legs, where there was some cum there.

When he was done, he searched around for Gilbert's boxers and helped him with it. Listening to Gilbert's snores of content, he smiled and he made his way to the bathroom to clean himself off.

Minutes later, he got and started to get dressed, mindful of the sound he is making so Gilbert wouldn't be awaken. He took out his wallet, fork out 500bucks and stash it in on of Gilbert's pants pocket.

Before heading out, he made sure that he got everything he came with, with an exception of the 500 bill he placed in Gilbert's pocket.

Grabbing the door knob firmly, he turned and looked at Gilbert for the last time. "Thank you for everything Gilbert." Without any second thoughts, he was out of the door.

Seeing someone approaching from the elevator, the receptionist stood up, not willingly of course.

"Yes sir, how may I help you?" Asked the receptionist.

"Why, yes actually. I believe when we checked in, its not you who helped us with it right? Anyway I would like to pay for the room now."

"Do you mean check out?"

"No, my room-mate is asleep and I wish to settle the bills now because I believe my room-mate do not have this kind of money. So please maybe can you just check by my name, Roderich Edelstein."

As the girl started to type away, Roderich use the time to call up a cab to save his energy of waving and walking around to find a decent cab.

"Mr Roderich Edelstein, check in for 2 at 2348 hours. Am I right?" The brunette asked while staring at the computer screen.

"Yes, more or less. How much will it cost?"

"In the system, it says $359."

Not really bothering with the amount, he quickly fish out his wallet and pass her his credit card. Once the payment has been settled, he collected his card and bid the girl goodbye. When his cab arrived, he quickly got in and soon enough cab drove off to Roderich's destination.

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><p>I hope it was okay, as in the storyline and everything..<p>

Btw the receptionist is just a random person that I could think of at the moment.. not a Hetalia character of any character I know of~ :D

Previews are always appreciated~ :D


	2. Chapter 2

Ouh, I forgot to mention in the previous chapter, that my updates would be on weekends or after a week or so, since school is generally on Monday to Fridays. So I'll write either on the Saturday or Sunday and post it up when I think its ready, alright! :D

"this is when they're talking"

'_this is when they're thinking_'

Please enjoy~ :D

**disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

Light from the sun was silently streaming through the slightly ajar curtains of the hotel window, gracing Gilbert's fine yet pale features with its warm rays. For a rowdy, loud, awesome person like Gilbert, he is shockingly a morning person. He rises with the sun but doesn't actually rest when the sun's time is up for the day. Meaning with as little as 7 hours of sleep, Gilbert can go on for hours without rest. He is just that full of life.

Knowing full well that that the sun is up, Gilbert still refused to get up. Instead opting to just lay in bed for the rest of the day with his best friend, Roderich. At the thought of their 'awesome' night together, he smiled contently. Currently he was situated at the end of the right side of the bed, he couldn't well see his buddy. He noted the stillness of the bed and deemed that Roderich was still asleep.

'_Did it even hurt him? I wonder if it hurts like hell, I mean come on, it gotta hurt, right?_' Pondered Gilbert, he know that he should maybe asked, to see if Roderich was okay, especially with the pace that the other set last night, it must have hurt. Knowing that Roderich is a light sleeper, he began to form his sentence. "Mornin' Roddy, you alright there buddy?"

The reason why Gilbert was so curious was not because he was a virgin before the night itself. It was just that he was a virgin when it comes to homosexual anal sex. Not that he was on the receiving end of said sex, it's just it was his first time sleeping with a dude. Gilbert has always been straight, always going for the tits and the V(s) the thought of sleeping, much less fucking another dude has never crossed his mind. Hell, he has never found another male attractive or cute other than himself, obviously.

Instead of an answer, silence greeted him. Usually it didn't take long for Roderich to answer him. Even if it's not an answer, Roderich usually grunted or let out some weird noise of acknowledgement. But all Gilbert got back was nothing. No soft breathing, no rustling of bed sheet, nothing. Granted there wasn't even movement on the bed.

Realization hit him like a ton of bricks, he quickly sat up and scanned the whole area. No Roderich, on the bed, floor or in the toilet even his damn clothes have disappeared too. Feeling a wave of nausea coming over him, Gilbert laid back down. Trying his damn hardest to come up with a reason as to why Roderich left without him.

'_He couldn't have gone to school, it's a Saturday, Roddy got no extracurricular activities on weekends. Could it be that he has something on and maybe forgot to tell me. Urgh, this is frustrating, my first night with a guy, much less him and now the one responsible left without consoling me. Shit.' _Gilbert mused to himself._ 'He is so gonna get an earful from me. Just watch out specs._'

With that final thought, Gilbert rolled himself out of bed and into the washroom he went. A good 15 minutes passed and the Albino was out, drying himself before putting on his clothes. When he deemed himself ready to be in public, he checked around the place one last time. Collecting whatever item he came with the night before.

Making his way to the door while checking his pockets to see if his cellphone and wallet was present, he found something else in the left pocket. Digging whatever it was out, his eyes widen at the money that magically manifested into his jeans pocket. Smiling at the notes, he made a mental note to thank Roddy for the money, cause well, he doesn't have the money to pay for the hotel room.

Stuffing the notes back into his pocket, he grabbed the doorknob, opens the door and made his way to the elevator.

**PRUAUS**

The lobby of the hotel is plain, simple wallpaper, simple carpeted floorings, furniture and of course, the front desk. Making a bee line for the front desk, Gilbert eyed the receptionist up and down. Said receptionist was busy reading some woman's magazine while twirling his hair. Despite the fact that the receptionist looked like a girl with shoulder length blond hair and emerald/green eyes, wearing a blouse with a nametag, his name totally give it off, I mean come on, what girl has a name like Feliks?

"Hi, I would like to check out please." Gilbert said while making intense eye-contact with Feliks. The blond gave an exasperated sigh, placed down his magazine and started to type away.

"Like, can I have your name please?" Feliks stared dully back at Gilbert. Feeling awkward, Gilbert gave him a quirky smile and replied. "Gilbert Beilshmidt."

The blond then looked at Gilbert as if he was crazy. After a moment of awkward staring, the blond started. "Like, how do I spell your name? Is it like a G-I-L-B-I-R-D or a G-I-L-B-E-R-T or any other way, that I might not know off?"

Feeling his face flushing, he quickly replied. "Oh, sorry. It's a G-I-L-B-E-R-T and the last name is a B-E-I-L-S-H-M-I-D-T."

Feliks began typing away, on the keyboard and frantically clicking the mouse. "OMG, like there's no record or reservation under you. "Said Feliks, eyeing the monitor suspiciously. "Hmm, maybe like you reserved it under another person's name of something?" Feliks added with a thoughtful look on his face and nodding his head just to give a touch of the all knowing effect.

Gilbert nearly face palmed at his own stupidity. '_Of course there was no reservation, it was Roderich who checked in for us. Wow Gilbert, for someone so superbly awesome, you are kind of an idiot too huh?_' He berated himself. Feliks, who saw how Gilbert was having a war with his inner-self, backed away from Gilbert, just in case anything unnecessary happens.

"Hey m-man, like cool down. I just need the name of the other person okay, no need to like become a Hulk or something." At that, Gilbert made eye-contact with the other, only the see the other cowering behind the chair. After seeing Feliks' reaction, a smug look made itself known on Gilbert's face.

"Try Roderich Edelstein. R-O-D-E-R-I-C-H E-D-E-L-S-T-E-I-N." Felik blink rapidly at both, the change of facial expression and the name.

Punching the keys furiously, Feliks found the reservation. "Hmm, it seems like, you have like, checked out already or something and the bill has also been settled. It shows here that the checked out time was like at 0207 hours. The rate was $359." Said Feliks, nodding his head knowingly. Gilbert was taken aback at the information. '_How could he have checked out first? Then what is the money all about! Roderich Edelstein, I seriously don't understand you at all!_'

"So it's all settled then, I don't need to do anything else right?" Gilbert grudgingly asked the wide eyed receptionist. "Nope, like everything is settled. Have a nice day ahead, Mr Belshmidt!" Feliks said with a bright smile upon his porcelain face. Gilbert noticed the lacked of 'I' in his last name but he could care less. Because right now, there is only one thing he needs to do and that is too confront Roderich about more than one thing.

"Thank you. You too Feliks and thanks for the help." Gilbert gave Feliks one of his most awesome smile and stalked off.

"That guy is like so weird. I so need to call, Toris." Mumbled Feliks, when Gilbert was out of his sight, he quickly grabbed the phone and started to dial the said person's number.

**PRUAUS**

As Gilbert got out of the main entrance, he started digging into his pockets for his cellphone. Once he has it on his hand, he speed-dialled Roderich's number.

-I'm sorry the number that you have just dialled, is not in use. Please try again later-

'_What the fuck?_' He frowned at his phone and dialled manually, just in case his phone was having a glitch.

-I'm sorry the number that you have just dia-

'_Mein Gott! The fuck man!_ _Now I'm super pissed off!_ _Well whatever, if you wanna play that stupid avoiding game, two can play at that game._' Gilbert mused loudly as he made his way to the nearest subway.

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><p>Translation: Mein Gott = My God<p>

I don't in any way learn German or any other language that I may add in later on, I just find the languages fascinating and hard but I wont write in so much..

Okay, actually.. im now to sure where im going with this.. I don't even know where my story is set in, it might be in America or wherever.. I wanted to put it like, based in Singapore since well I haven't really travelled much considering my age and family income, but to based it in Singapore is just so weird.. such foreign names in Singapore is weird, haha!

The receptionist, Feliks or Toris wont be playing anymore parts in later chapters, I think.. im not too sure myself, haha! I just needed a Hetalia character that can pull off the receptionist attitude and I think Feliks did a good job, no?

Kay, lets get somethings cleared.. I've never really stayed in a hotel, only twice and at both times, im not the one who check in/out.. even when I myself is studying in the hospitality course, I just started to please, be kind to my mistakes..

I have only been to 2 places other than Singapore and that is Malaysia and Batam, Batam is a small island near Indonesia.

I don't have the best English, I used to be moderate at it but eversince I graduated from secondary school, my English is dead poor.. like I mentioned before, I don't have the best or the most creative or awesome brain, but I'll try.. :D

The part where (always going for the tits and the V(s) the Vs mean Vagina, yeah, i didnt want to use Vagina cause its weird, i didnt use pussy cause its too vulgar.. just not taste~ :D

The part where this came out (_-I'm sorry the number that you have just dialled, is not in use. Please try again later-)_is actually the operator for whatever line they are using. I don't know if this is the same thing people get from other countries but I know in Singapore, this happens.

So yeah, that's all for now.. shall update again soon~! :D

**REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED~! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

This story were merely forgotten but never abandoned, after 2 years of hiatus, im back and updating!

**Disclaimer: i do not own Hetalia**

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><p>It has been two days since Gilbert made the resolve that he won't be the one to call Roderich first. To say that he was worried was an understatement, he was insanely tormented with the thought that something might have befallen his longest and closest buddy. He is well aware that Roderich is able to take care of himself, as he is obviously old enough. But he just can't shake the feeling of worried off him.<p>

Gilbert's finger twitched and his fingers ached to just grab hold of his phone and just call him. But his ego won't let him. He kept telling himself that if Roderich started it, he should be the one to end it. So he might as well wait. Craning his neck to check the smallish digital alarm clock on his bedside table, he let out a huff and slowly rolled of his bed and staggered to his shared toilet.

He let the warm water caress his head and cascade down his shoulders and to the rest of his body as he leaned nearer to the shower head. Gilbert closed his eyes, thinking about that one time when Roderich didn't contact him for 3 days only to find out that he was hospitalized because he tripped the carpet of the stairs, rolled down the long flight of stairs and fractured his ankle.

They have been friends for years, ever since they were 5 years old. They have been inseparable since then.

Their friendship started when they were 4 and a half. They were neighbours in Germany, Gilbert being German and Roderich an Austrian but moved to Germany. When they were younger they always played together, went to school together and practically grew up together.

Both of them were merely 11 when Gilbert's parents got involved in a car accident and passed on. As Gilbert as a younger brother, Ludwig, of only 8 years old, Roderich's family took them in, cared for them and loved them as their own. They migrated to US soon after to start afresh. But after years of being under the care of Roderich's parents, Gilbert finally got a part time job and with the money rented a house for both him and Ludwig. But Roderich's parents still feel the need to provide for them, instead gave them monthly allowance.

So the bottom line is that, Gilbert and Ludwig are both very grateful to the Edelstein family. Gilbert made a promise to pay them every single cent that they have spent on both of them, even if they reject the money, he will still keep on insisting.

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><p>Hey guys, i know that it has been forever since i updated to be honest a good 2 years. i am so sorry for the long hiatus! Was super busy with school and what not so i was not able to write a lot for this story in particular.<p>

Anyways, i hope you enjoy it and please review, fav or follow it just for shits and giggles!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: i do not own Hetalia**

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><p>Apparently the Edelstein family has disappeared from the very surface of the earth. Gilbert couldn't get in touch with them no matter how hard he tried. He tried asking around but the answers he got back were nothing even close to helping him find them.<p>

He was slowly losing his sanity. There was never a period in his life where he had been separated from Roderich for more than 2 weeks and that itself, is eating his insides. He stopped attending school, he skipped his meals and even neglected his best friends. He was a mess.

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><p>Ludwig kept worrying about his brother as Gilbert was constantly on the blonde's mind. Being the younger sibling, usually it is the job of the elder to worry and care for the younger however in this case, it is the other way around. Knowing that his brother hasn't been attending school regularly, he made it a habit to always call home as Gilbert tends to ignore his calls, just to check if Gilbert was okay.<p>

He tried talking to him but every attempt was to no avail. He tried every possible way to get Gilbert to open up to him, but Gilbert just brush him away, as if he was just a big blond pest. The younger Beilshmidt had a hunch that the reason why his older brother is behaving this way is because of a specific Austrian brunette. He never really wanted to ponder on it too much because if he does so, he will no doubt have a negative feeling towards Roderich, who have been like family towards him. If that happens, guilt will definitely seep in.

Whenever Ludwig found his thoughts drifting, the same words kept going through his mind; '_if only he didn't evaporate to nothingness, none of this would have happen_'. He tried reasoning with himself, thinking of multiple reasons as to why not only Roderich but the whole family fled the country and leaving his brother in such a pathetic state. The longer he lingered on such thoughts, the angrier he got.

His one and only brother, his only family, his life is reaching the breach of no return and he cant even do anything about it.

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><p>"Bruder, come on and have lunch. Now." Ludwig commanded between the thick piece of wood that was apparently Gilbert's door. Frowning when there was no sign of movement heard, Ludwig knocked harder. "Bruder, open the door." Giving up, he let out a sigh from his nostril and made his way to the kitchen. '<em><strong>He will come out, eventually<strong>_'.

Gilbert heard the knock, he heard his baby brother's words but yet, he chose to ignore it altogether. He hasn't been in contact with Roderich for over 2 months and he hated every second of it. When they had sex that particular night, he had noticed just how Roderich actually was.

From his point of view, he couldn't really see Roderich's face but did manage to catch a glimpse of the brunette's face. His soft brunette hair was all over the place, a portion of his fringe was matted against his forehead as he perspired. His glowing violet eyes were half lidded as he was in ecstasy. His beautiful thin lips were slightly agape as he let out hushed moans and whimpers. He was just simply breath taking.

He might not have admitted it to anyone but at that point of time he knew he was taken in by Roderich's beauty and he felt attracted to the other male. He came to realised that he was actually Bi. He was planning to ask Roderich out, since he knew since forever that Roderich has always played for the other team but seeing that all this has happened, apparently he was too late and now the guy that he has feelings for is nowhere to be found.

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><p>As previously mention, i hoped you guys enjoyed it and please do review, fav and follow for the same reason, shits and giggles.<p>

THANK YOU~!


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